Daria
in
Fangs for the memories
Scene
1: We are in a seedy bar. The view pans past a few random faces until
settling on a tall slender redhead. She is packing instruments while
her green eyes watch three men at a corner table with a bemused
expression. Two of the men at the table seem deeply involved in an
animated conversation while the jukebox
plays in the background. True Daria fans will recognize one of the men.
The other man looks to be in his early twenties with longish blonde
hair and brilliant blue eyes. He answers to the name Vayne. The third
man, Richter seems to be contemplating smashing his beer bottle and
slicing his wrist to escape the conversation. He is the very epitome of
tall dark and handsome with his wavy brown hair and warm brown eyes.
Stan:
So I say to
Vayne:
You told Alice Cooper to use snakes during his concerts?
Stan:
No man, I told him to get a pet snake, it’d drive chicks
nuts.
Vayne:
Wow you advised
Richter:
(thoroughly disgusted now) Of course he didn’t. He probably doesn’t
even know Alice Cooper, you nitwit!
Stan:
You weren’t there man, I was there, I was
there.
Vayne:
Yeah Stan was there man. (To Stan) Now what where
you saying about Sid?
Richter:
(shakes his head amazed at the conversation and gets up and walks to
the stage) Are we about ready to roll Thea?
I wanna make it to
Thea:Ahh morning in the ‘burbs!
(bt) Not that
we’ll be awake to see it of course.
Richter:
We’re gonna have to drive carefully until
we are well outta town. I hear the local
cops are sticklers for traffic laws. We wouldn’t want to be stuck in a
jail cell till after sunrise.
Thea:
No, that wouldn’t do at all. (Looking at Vayne and Stan) If you plan on
dinner before we leave you better help Vayne get him outside.
Richter:
Now why would I want some ageing punk rocker wannabe? Groupies nice, firm, delicious groupies that’s
the
ticket.
Thea:
(gestures around) In case you haven’t
noticed we don’t have any groupies, and if we did they would be home
and in bed by now. Last call was twenty minutes ago. As I see it you
got three options: starve, have a drink from my private collection, or
help get Stan outside.
Richter:
I would almost rather starve (bt)
almost. (Turns to Vayne and Stan) Hey why don’t you hang with us and
relive your glory days. Come on out to the ‘bago
for a while.
Stan:
Cool man, cool. You wouldn’t happen to be carrying anything in the way
of sustenance in that traveling abode would you?
Richter:
Oh we’ll be eating just as soon as we get through the door. (A smirk
passes between him and Vayne)
Stan:
(totally oblivious) Cool man, cool.
Scene
2: A Winnebago traveling down a dark and deserted highway. Richter is
driving, Thea is riding shotgun, and Vayne is lounging in the back
listening to music.
The Winnebago has a very posh interior, and is customized with blackout
blinds on all windows, including the skylight. Thea and Richter are in
the middle of what seems to be a very old debate.
Richter:
He’ll wake up in a few hours, a little weak, a lot confused, and a few
hundred dollars richer. A very well compensated donor.
Thea:
Donor implies donation, as in to knowingly and willingly give. Not to
wake up a pint low, and none the wiser.
Richter:
As apposed to being seduced, and then waking up with a grin, a pint
low, and none the wiser. Admit it we both take what we need, and in
return we give something back, period.
Thea:
You’re comparing apple to oranges here.
Richter:
Forbidden fruit to blood oranges, as it were, right?
Thea:
Touché.
Vayne:
(Suddenly leaning in between the two of them) Don’t
you ever get tired of this same old argument?
Richter
and Thea: (together) No!!!
Vayne:
Right then, carry on, my mistake.
(Vayne
returns to his music. Thea and Richter share a smirk.)
Scene
3: Next evening, Morgendorffer house, and Daria’s room. Daria and Tom
are watching SSW.
TV:
Are Vampire brain sucking Psychiatrist hypnotizing you and stealing
your memories? ‘Fangs for the Memories’, on the
next Sick Sad World.
Daria:
Why can’t I find a good brain-sucking psychiatrist when I want one? He
could take all the memories of Quinn and the fashion brigade. Not to
mention a few other choice tidbits. (Voiceover, we hear Beavis and
Butthead: Diarrhea cha cha cha! Daria suddenly does a full body shiver.) Oh
wait, I remember, they don’t exist.
Tom:
Aw come on Daria, don’t tell me you’re a
complete skeptic.
Daria:
Skeptic am I. I mean I try to keep an open
mind.
Tom:
Everybody needs their minds opened now and again.
Daria:
Well maybe I can still get that lobotomy to think like Quinn.
Tom:
(Does full body shiver) Don’t scare me like
that, Daria. I just mean, there are so many things out there that we
don’t know or understand. Don’t you believe in anything supernatural?
Daria:
I believe there are possibilities out there, and if you tell anyone I
said that you will regret it till your quick and untimely death. I
mean; Quinn admitted publicly we are sisters, you and I are dating, and
Jane forgave us. Weird things happen, but I’m not willing to call it
supernatural cause all things exist within nature so supernatural is an
oxymoron.
Quinn:
(enters room and interrupts) You are so
right Daria.
Daria:
Ok maybe I’m wrong, cause that’s just weird.
Quinn:
Dar-I-a! You just can’t look super and go natural. I mean, the natural
look is in. The trick is to use make-up to look natural and super.
Sandi doesn’t think so. I was just talking to her and she said
(imitating Sandi) “Gee Quinn some people are just naturally beautiful
and don’t need make-up.” So I ask her why she carts around all that
make-up in her purse then and she said “Part of the fashion clubs many
responsibilities is to help victims of bad make-up.”
Tom:
(aside to Daria) Where did they hide her
off
button?
Daria:
I’ve tried to find it for years.
Quinn:
(continuing) Not that I can’t look totally
natural and still be super.
Tom:
Super? (Perking up and giving a evil smirk) Where do you hide your cape
and tights?
Quinn:
(horrified) Eww tights!?!? Why do I even
bother?
(A
doorbell is heard from below)
Jake:
(off screen) Quinn your date is here.
(With
one more disgusted look over her shoulder Quinn leaves)
Tom:
See proof.
Daria:
Proof? Proof of what?
Tom:
That Quinn really does have that guardian angel she was driving you
nuts with awhile back.
Daria:
Huh?
Tom:
One more minute and I’d have killed her.
Scene
4: Parking lot out side of the Zen.
Quinn:
(Eyes the neighborhood and the club with distaste) We’re
not going in there, are we?
Timmy:
I want to hear the band that’s playing tonight. They’re supposed to be
better then the normal drivel that plays here. I could just take you
for a ride if you would rather. (Grins wolfishly and eyes Quinn up and
down.)
Quinn:
No-no that’s ok, we can go in. (Plasters on a fake smile) (Vo) As long as no one ever finds out.
(Timmy
climbs out and walks towards the club. A moment later with a growl of
disgust at his lack of manners Quinn gets out and follows.)
Timmy:
(Over his shoulder) Hurry it up. They
finally got someone to play in this dive that’s not some grungy garage
band Nirvana wannabe.
Quinn:
(To herself, as they enter the club) I’m just glad Daria stayed home
tonight. I know this is where her and her loser art friend hangout.
They’d never let me live this down.
(As
if on cue, Jane walks around the corner, smirks at Quinn’s receding
back, and heads for the pay phone.)
(Daria’s
house, the kitchen, Daria and Tom are foraging for snacks when the
phone rings. As Daria answers the phone we go to split screen-showing
Jane on the other end.)
Daria:
Hello.
Jane:Hola me amiga. Your
never gonna guess who just walk in to the
Zen with Timmy Sherman.
Daria:
(Concerned) Jane you haven’t been eating out of your refrigerator again
have you? Tommy
Sherman’s dead remember!
Jane:
Not Tommy, Timmy, his younger brother. They look exactly alike.
Daria:
Let me guess, same great wrapper 50% less jerk.
Jane:
50% more actually; he was the baby of the family. And speaking of
younger siblings, guess who he’s here with?
Daria:
We’ll be right there. (She hangs up.)
Jane:
Don’t forget a camera. (Hears dial-tone.)
Damn, I never have a camera to record the humiliation.
(
Daria:
Ok you win there are super-natural things out there.
Tom:
What makes you say that?
Daria:
Quinn’s possessed.
Scene
5: Zen a few minutes later. Nirvana
is playing loudly in the background. Jane,
Trent, and Jesse are sitting at a table watching Quinn, amusement
evident on their faces.
Jane:
Ten bucks says she slaps him before the band starts.
(They
watch together for a few moments, then suddenly her face lights up, and
she pokes
Jane:
Pay up brother o’ mine there’s Daria now.
(
Jane:
You do that anyway.
Jane:
There’s no food at the house to eat, hence no dirty dishes.
Jane:
(Smirks) No band practice for a week.
Jane:
Five.
Jane:
Done. (Bt) We hang out with Daria’s family
way too much.
Daria:
Oh darn and I was going to ask you two, to the Morgendorffer family fun
day.
(Jane
looks scared and
(Cut
to Quinn and Timmy at a table across the bar.)
Timmy:
Might as well have a drink no one will notice or care in a dive like
this.
Quinn:
Tim-my, alcohol is a fashion club don’t.
Its bad for the body, and even a lite beer
has far too many calories, just get me a diet soda with three ice-cubes.
Timmy:
Sure babe I’ll get it, but don’t you think you should fix your smudged
lipstick.
Quinn:
(Panicking) Smudge, ohmygodI’llberightback.(Darts in to the restroom.) Timmy: (Grinning and
eyeing other girls.) Take your time.
Quinn:
(Os) ewwwwww!!!
(He
gets Quinn’s soda and returns to the table. He looks around to see if
he’s being watched. Satisfied, he takes a small packet from his pocket,
rips it open, and dumps it in Quinn’s drink. He stirs it with the straw
and sits it on the table just as Quinn comes out of the restroom,
make-up once again pristine.)
Quinn:
That restroom was disgusting. Can we just go now?
Timmy:
Sure, just drink your diet soda and we’ll leave if you really want to.
Quinn:
(Drinks the soda straight down.) Anything to get
out of this dump.
(They
get up and move across the crowded room towards the exit. Almost
immediately she begins to feel the effects of the drug, though they are
mild at first.)
Daria:
(Stopping them as they pass) Hey Quinn how goes your first visit to the
Zen?
Quinn:
(A little giddy now giggling.) It goes and I goes
and Timmy goes. (From Quinn’s POV we see Daria looking concerned,
suddenly, we see two of her.) God Daria, no wonder they call you four
eyes. (The two Daria’s now look hurt as Quinn continues.) Timmy this is
my sis- I mean my cousin, Daria’s type of place. Let’s just go before
any other losers see me here.
(After
hearing Quinn, Daria’s hurt look reverts to a stoic blankness. Quinn
and Timmy continue towards the exit. As they near the door we see Vayne
in the far background watching, his head tilted as if listening.)
Quinn:
Timmy, I don’t feel so well I need to lie down can you take me home?
Timmy:
(Grins at her.) I’ll take you some where you can lie down.
(As
they walk out the door, Vayne picks up Quinn’s empty glass his nostrils
flare, as he examined it. He pulls out a cell-phone, dials a number and
briefly speaks before heading out the door.)
(We
see Richter speaking to the bar tender and the bar tender pointing
towards Trent and Jesse.)
Daria:
(Quietly to Jane, a little sad) I thought we were past that cousin
crap. (Bitterly) I guess I was wrong.
Richter:
(To Trent and Jesse) Hello I’m Richter your drummer for the evening.
The manager mentioned that you are part of the usual act. Due to
circumstances beyond my control we find ourselves without a guitarist
for the evening. Would the two of you care to fill in? You would of
course be compensated.
Trent
and Jesse: (At the same time) Sure. Cool.
(Trent
and Jesse get up and follow Richter.)
Scene
6: Twenty minutes later Timmy’s car pulls onto a dark road in the woods
on the way to the mall. Quinn is unconscious in the seat beside him. He
pulls along side of a gray sedan that has its trunk opened, shuts off
the car and climbs out. We see a shadowy figure standing along the
trees, watching and waiting, as Timmy carries Quinn and places her in
the trunk of the sedan. The figure tosses down a thick envelope, and as
Timmy retrieves it the sedan drives off.
Timmy:
(To himself as he thumbs through the large wad of cash in the envelope)
Easiest money I’ve ever made. It’s too bad the boss wanted that little
bimbo to be pure. She could have been fun; especially once the drugs
shut her up.
(As
he walks towards his car, a large black fox walked out of the brush and
up to Timmy. Its shiny black coat carried a hint of green and the color
at the very tip of its bushy tail was an unmistakable and rather lovely
shade of emerald. As it advanced on Timmy, the foxes green eyes gleamed
in the darkness.)
Timmy:
Whoa, where’d you come from?
(The
fox growls menacingly at Timmy.)
Vayne:
(Out of the darkness) Yeah that’s him all
right.
Timmy:
(Now royally freaked) What the hell is
going
on around here?
(The
fox suddenly becomes blurry and shadows dance around in a fluid motion.
A young man in a dark greenish overcoat is now crouched down where the
fox once stood. This is all Timmy can take, and as Vayne steps out from
behind a tree, Timmy passes out.)
Vayne:
Nice Nomad.
Nomad:
Did you take care of the girl?
Vayne:
Yeah I called in a favor. (Holds up his phone.)
Every cop in three counties is now hunting that car and they all know
where it was coming from and what’s in the trunk. Well this was good
for a laugh, but now what?
(Nomad
pulls a multicolor pack of sharpies out from the depths of his coat and
smiles wolfishly)
Nomad:
Now we get to have even MORE
fun.
Scene
7: Tom’s car, on the way to Daria’s house, Tom is driving.
Tom:
I can’t believe how good the band was even with Trent and Jesse.
Daria:
Just wait till I tell Jane you insulted her brother’s musical talents.
Tom:
I meant because they hadn’t played together before. Usually when you
bring together two different bands with different styles it goes to
hell, but they were really good together.
Daria:
You’re right they were good. Interesting name for a band, maybe they
can help
Tom:
Maybe they can, I heard
Daria:
I noticed Jane was eyeing Richter while they were playing. I guess she
likes that sort of look on a guy. (She looks sideways at Tom smiling a
little.)
Tom:
(Pulling up in front of Daria’s house) Yeah she does seem to go for
that type. (Turning to her a smile on his face) So do you. I guess I’ll
have to make sure I keep on my best behavior. (Kisses
her.)
Daria:
(After the kiss) Keep up behavior like that and I’ll have to go looking
for someone else cause my dad will have you
shot. (She smirks at him.) Speaking of which there seems to be a lot of
lights on. If that clock is right I shouldn’t be late yet.
Tom:
Oops, it might be off. Sometimes when I turn off the car the clock time
stops.
Daria:
I better go I don’t wanna end up in family
court again. I can’t win and I always end up with a fool for a client cause mom insists on working for the prosecution
and leaves me lawyerless
Tom:
Want me to walk you in?
Daria:
Are you kidding, and give them another witness? That’s ok, night. (She
kisses him again and gets out of the car.)
(She
walks up to the door and lets herself in. As she walks in she is
besieged on both sides by her parents hugging her and talking at once.)
Helen:
Sweetie, thank goodness your ok.
Jake:
Daria, your alive!
Daria:
(Overwhelmed by the sudden physical contact and thrown by what’s being
said.) GAH!!! What’s going on? Why wouldn’t I be ok I was with Tom at
the Zen I left a note. (She catches sight of a clock.) And I’m not past
curfew, so what the hell is wrong?
Helen:
(Calming down.) Your sister was drugged and apparently kidnapped this
evening. Thanks to an anonymous tip the cops found her and took her to
the hospital. They ran some tests and she started to wake up. She
seemed ok just groggy so they let us bring her home. Luckily she hadn’t
been assaulted before the cops found her, thank God.
Daria:
(Stands frozen for a moment letting her mother’s words sink in, then
suddenly her emotions erupt, loudly) WHAT? I’LL KILL THAT SON OF A
BITCH! HE’S GONNA WISH HE WAS NEVER BORN WHEN I GET DONE WITH HIM!
(She
storms around the living room in a rage. Helen and Jake look at her
more in shock about this than anything else that has happened)
Helen:
Kill who Daria?
Daria:
Timmy Sherman! Wasn’t he who had Quinn? That’s who she left the Zen
with tonight.
Helen:
The police don’t know who had Quinn. The incompetents claim they can’t
remember pulling the car over just opening the trunk and finding Quinn.
Daria:
(Remembering how Quinn acted earlier.) Oh god, its
all my fault. I knew Quinn was acting weird, but when she insulted me I
played it off as her acting like a ditz for his benefit.
Helen:
(Pulling Daria to her and hugging her) It’ll be ok sweetie. You
couldn’t have known.
Daria:
But I could have, and worse yet I should have. Quinn will never forgive
me.
Jake:
(With deadly calm, truly angry now, not the generic rage he spews about
his father.) You won’t have to kill him Daria,
if I find him he’ll never ever do something like this again.
Helen:
(Angry but somewhat calmer than Daria and Jake) We
find that bastard Timmy Sherman, and I will personally see him rot in
jail and sue him for every cent he has. He won’t even have the shirt on
his back when I finish with him.
Daria:
(No longer yelling but evidently angry) Are
the cops looking for that slime?
Helen:
Yes, while Quinn was half conscious she told the police who she was
with.
Jake:
For his sake, he better hope the cops find him before me.
Daria:
I’m going to bed its late.
Helen:
Of course sweetie.
Jake:
(Pacing and now mumbling stops for a moment, faux cheerful) G’night kiddo.
(Daria
heads upstairs she puts her hand on her door then turns and heads to
Quinn’s room. Quinn is sleeping soundly and Daria sits down in Quinn’s
rocking chair watching over her.
Daria:
(Angry and determined.) I swear Quinn that jerk
will pay and everyone will know what kind of loser he is. (Daria sits
back watching her sister sleep)
Scene
8: Early morning, along the side of the wooded road we see Timmy. He is
lying in the ditch along the road. The only things covering him are
some leaves that have been blown by the wind to land in a strategic
position to keeping this scene PG-13. Timmy’s car is nowhere to be
seen. As he stirs we see he has several things written on him. The main
focus of the art is a confession on his chest that proclaims “I like to
drug innocent girls.” Another has an arrow pointing to his nether
regions and reads “Inadequacy issues see here. “ There are other more
colorful epitaphs on him but again for rating quality you can use your
own imagination. As he starts to wake up Timmy shifts a bit and a leave
or two blows away. We should note that it takes an extraordinarily
small amount of leaves to cover him. A dog comes along, sniffs at him
and as we fade out we here the sound of liquid splashing on skin.
Timmy:
(Off screen.) Huh? wha?Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!
Notes:
1. I want to
thank my beta reader NomadX
and my mom who played
stenographer on this story.
2. I’d also like to thankNomadX
for the great art work and the scene ideas.3. I don’t own Daria or any
of the music played here, if I did she would still be on the air, and
I’d be rich. Since I am too poor to even
pay attention legal action would be a waste of corporate time and
energy.
4. There is more to come
with this tale. The band is going to stick around
5. I linked several pieces
of music to this story and anyone with a windows media player, should
be able to listen to the ‘soundtrack’ as you read by clicking the links. The music used includes ‘Friends in Low
Places” Garth Brooks, ‘Welcome to the Jungle’ Guns N Roses, ‘Smells
Like
Teen Spirit’ Nirvana, ‘Don’t Fear the Reaper’ Blue Oyster Cult, and
‘Highway to Hell’ AC~DC.
6. I also linked to Mike Yamiolkoski’s
New and Wonderful Daria Online Character Database for
the lesser know characters.