...And I apoligize in advance if it's a little lame, since rhyming isn't my forte...
Christmas @ Raft

RP Hennigan


'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the dorm, books and clothing lay scattered, like leaves after a storm. Beer cans and roaches were scattered here and there, as finals were over, and bodies lay bare. Daria stepped through carnage very carefully, as she loathed to step in the puddles of pee. The hope of America was sleeping it off, and come morning they'd boogie, to places far off.

She sighed while evicting a couple from her bed, and wished for a gun, so they might be dead. "Fuck off and die," the male
managed to utter, before she kneed him in the crotch and he began to stutter. With tear gas and taser, she swept her space clean, as the woeful miscreants moaned she was mean.

Her roommate was comatose, her date nearly so, but she left them both there while she started her show. On went her PC, her email did flash, and soon she was lost in her electronic stash.Bigger boobs and penises, the ads did declare, while others bragged of their prowess in removing spyware.

A few she did open, but much to her dismay, they weren't from loved ones, but more ads from far away. Nigerian lawyers, and activists too, were hustling and bustling, in search of her loot. With a groan and a flourish, she banished them all, and turned off her PC and went down the hall.

The kitchen was trashed, as the pantry was too, so she gave up her searching for nourishing food. Dialling for pizza while feasting on snacks, some of her dormmates staggered in back. "Where were you? you missed it, the greatest party of all! If you don't believe us, come look, someone's nailed to the wall!" She sighed and dismissed them, with scorn and disdain, and made her arrangements to get on a plane.

Home wasn't where she wanted to be, but at least she didn't have to deal with the dregs of society. Her friend Jane answered her call, and together they sallied, to the airport near the mall. The security folks weren't taking no chances, they stripped 'em both down and made them do dances, making her moan, "I'm glad we paid by credit, instead of cash, or else we'd have to tip them for that!"

Jane smirked at her clever retort, as they sat down and waited in the crowded airport. Finally it came their turn to board, and they jostled and struggled to stow their hoard. "Your carry on's too large, in the belly it must go!" the stewardess cried as they tried to fit it in just so. Thanks to Jane's need to take her artworks along, they ended up waiting until nearly dawn.

Finally, in Lawndale they arrived, only to find no taxis beside. No buses, no taxis, no answered phone calls, until finally they started bouncing off the walls. "Screw this, we're walking, and no smart-ass replies, I've a date with my old bed and need to shut my eyes!"

To this her friend could offer no wisecrack, so off they did march, until at last the old homestead did appear, and they parted ways, to partake in familiar cheer. Alone on the doorstep, her key in the door, Daria sighed. "Merry Christmas? No more!"

The End

Like I said, I suck at making things rhyme. Twisted Evil