TANANDARIA SEASON TEN
_______________

(We see Tananda leading a tour group around the cave of bad fiction. At the group’s head are Veldrin and Cimorene.)
Tananda: Now here is the common area, this is where we can gather as one big happy family and it is also where Melvin the Thanksgiving Turkey lives. Everybody say ‘Hi Melvin!’
Tour group: Hi Melvin!
Melvin the turkey: Gobble
(Tananda leads the group down a blue painted hall to a large room marked Hair Dying Center.)
Tananda: This is where Beth dyes the newbies’ hair.
(They walk into the room. Robert Nowall is tied to a chair. Beth and Taryn are standing over him with evil smiles on their faces.)
Robert: But I said I didn’t want to be part of the group!
Beth: It’s to late now; you already posted on the recruitment thread. Besides, nothing will go wrong. I’m good at dying hair.
(Elizabeth Haynes walks by sporting her DDMDesque dye job. Robert’s eyes widen and he starts to struggle to get out of the ropes again.)
Beth: That was not my fault. I wasn’t even here, Taryn dyed Elizabeth’s hair.
Taryn: It wasn’t my fault either, it was all Mahna’s fault; she’s the scapegoat.
Beth: Oh, right. Now hand me the bleach, the electric purple dye, the highlighter yellow dye, and a muffin. We have a lot of work to do. Tananda, could you get the tour group out of here?
Tananda: Sure thing. Time for us to move on.
(Just as they are about to leave Qwerty - Master Magician of Magics (he thought of that title himself) runs in carrying a paintbrush.)
Qwerty: Hide me!
(Scarlett, dressed in pink fatigues and wearing a pink helmet follows him in,)
Scarlett: Paint my corridor red will you? I’ll cratoon you good.
Qwerty: Eep!
Tananda: Heh heh heh. Now it’s really time to move on. How about I show you the scenic green corridor or the shrine room. We have a Daria shrine, a Roger E. Moore shrine, a Lawndale Stalker shrine that has just been gathering dust since he politely asked Scarlett and I to stop worshipping him, and shrines devoted to each member of the IUF because we are just that egocentric.
(The tour group runs into, literally, Darkwing and Woot as they walk down the hall.)
Tananda: (sigh) What’s wrong now?
Darkwing: Nothing, nothing at all. But just out of curiosity, how do you say ‘It was like that when we got here’ in French?
Tananda: I don’t know; ask Scarlett.
Woot: Thank u Tananda. We r goin to go do that now ^_^.
Veldrin: She really talks like that?
Tananda: Yes, but we love her anyway. Here is the Tanandaria garage home to the Tankette, the Bethmobile, our spaceship, and our helicopter. Beth is our official getaway driver but every so often she let’s me drive.
Cimorene: How did the Tankette get that dent in its side?
Tananda: Ahem, let’s move on with the tour. Next up the penguin flight school, then on to kitchen for pumpkin pir, and my underground replica of Lawndale.
Veldrin: You know what, I think I’m going to like it here.
(The screen goes dark)
The End
(The screen comes back up and shows a stage.)
Mahna: Wait! No! Not the end! I want to make an appearance in the story too! Hi I’m Mahna Mahna Mahna but you can call me Mahna. I’m the scapegoat.
(There’s a pause then Mahna starts to sing.)
Mahna: Oh the shark has oh such teeth dear, and he shows them a pearly white. Just a jackknife has old …
(The curtain on the stage closes abruptly covering Mahna. The screen goes dark again.)
_______________

Scene: Tanandaria cave of bad fiction: Newbie center. It looks basically like a regular classroom, only less organized, a penguin can be seen flying above, each wall is painted a different color, (pink, purple, blue, and green) And about ten desks, nine of which are empty. A teenage boy who looks around at the setting in confusion occupies the last chair. Each member of the IUF stands in front of their wall, standing next to a chalkboard, they have impatient looks on their faces.
Beth: *sigh* Let's go over this once more DarkWing. This, (she points to a picture on her board) Is the Daria shrine, a most sacred place, Everyone must report to the Shrine five times a d...
DW: Um excuse me, I have a question.
Scarlett: Yes?
DW: What the hell is all this?
Tananda: Whatever do you mean?
DW: Well, for one, there's flying penguins running around, I saw a vicious smiley roaming the halls chasing a teal-haired man who was screaming for his mom, a giant statue of Daria, and several old people in the halls who were complaining that “neon haired hooligans” tripped them.
Mahna: Oh, there's a simple explanation for all of this.
Everyone: There is?
Mahna: It's Tanandaria.
DW: But, what does that mean?
Mahna: Cratoon.
DW: ...but...?
Tananda: Less talking, more stalking. Now if you'll please turn your attention to my board, I will instruct you on the proper stalking methods. (She goes into teaching mode, pointing at the board and drawing diagrams) This, is what we like to call a forkpitch, it's the most important weapon...er..."tool" we have. It's...
DW: Shouldn't that be Pitchfork?
Tananda: Now, who's the teacher here? (A sigh and eye roll from DW, and she continues) Great, I lost my place. I'll start over. Now, this is what we like...
Scarlett: Who cares? Let's get to the important stuff. Muffins!
DW: Muffins?
Tananda: Muffins and Pir!
DW: What the Hell?
Mahna: I know a song about muffins! Here, /Oooooh! What is th.../
Beth: Must...refuse muse...mustn’t...write story...about muffins.
Tananda: You know what we should do? Dye DW's hair, so it looks like Muffin Pir.
DW: Wait a minute! What happened to Dark blue?
Beth: That's not as exciting!
DW: Then I don't want to be exciting.
Tananda: Fine. But from now on, we still have the right to call you muffin head.
DW: ...but why?
Mahna: Because. It's Tanandaria.
DW: *sigh*
_______________

Woot: Hiya Dark wing.....has he posted yet? another guy! YAY! Welcome DW... *shakes his hand* I'm WooT. Head of the nOOb department. I'll b ur supervisor.

Woot- ok....NEways, DW, to establish urself around her....u have to make sumthin of urself....show off a bit....let ppl get to know u....BTW here r ur sleeping quarters....dun forget where u sleep...i did once and i had to sleep in the lounge....NEWays, Speak up, join the conversation or start a new one...all ideas are welcome here.....and one more thing....we had a guy once that went into the girls bedrooms....
DW- What happened to him?
Woot- is he here now?
DW- no...
Woot- there u go....u r however allowed in the girl's room, just not the bedroom's, k? and only when they say u can. *gives DW a candy cane* I hope u like it here.
DW (Sucking on candy cane): Then how come we're in your bedroom?
Woot: dam u n ur teleportive riting!
Woot- teleportive writing is ok, but dun use it too often, NEways, while we're here, i'll show u around. I do alot of the cooking at the parties we have here, so i have a kitchen that's a lil bigger than the other girl's rooms. *shows DW the kitchen* Every room has a widescreen TV, comes standard....
DW- Who's this? *points to the pic of RT on her foyer table*
Woot- That's my bf, RT. he doesn't post here but he's in my only story.
DW- I c...

DW: But the question is, what can you cook?
WooT-Almost NEthing! ^.^
DW: Kewl... I can cook literally anything at all with the right instructions and ingredients.
WooT-Same here....So NEways....
Woot-i have no clue wats goin on but yeah....... *sits on her throne*
DW- What is that? *points to throne*
Woot- my throne....everyone has sumthinthat's their own. I got my throne. sombody (either taryn or Tananda) has the kevo's...
DW- Kevos?
Woot- the smily things that chase the penguins..that reminds me, since DW is the newest n00b, doesn't he have to clean up after the kevos? NEways, we also each have our own way of hitting. Mahna lightly pokes with a french bagget and i smack with a candy cane.
DW: (*Slaps Woot around with a boffer for suggesting he clean up after the Kevos*) Two birds, one line of text. :)
*woot is unconscious* @.@
DW- Oh well.....*picks woot up and puts her in the garbage*
Woot-*is still unconscious in the garbage* @.@
DW: I have no idea why I'd put someone in the garbage, I'd have planted equipment to escape and then tied you up and sold you to gypsies, then split the profit with you when you escaped and returned.
DW: (*does as listed above*)
WooT-*escapes and runs back to the cave dressed in gypsy clothing* ok..now where's my $? You know...we could make a profit doin stuff like that....DW and Woot...con artists...sounds good to me

DW: They didn't like your look, I only got $20 for you. (*hands Woot $10*)
*Woot takes the 10 bucks* - well i think it was a good sum for our first job, what's next?
DW: first off, we need to celebrate our first victory. To Baskin Robins!
Here's the plan, we apply for jobs, then deal ourselves allot of free ice cream and don't show up for work.
Woot- great idea! lets go.
*DW and Woot hop in the car and head to Baskin robins*
DW- yes we'd like to apply for jobs.
Manager- perfect! we need 2 dedicated ice cream sellers!
Woot- that's us! *smirk*
(one week later)
Woot- yum...the last vanilla tub..now we dun show up for work now that there is no ice cream to eat/sell
DW (Finishing the last of a very large tub of Cafe Latte Ice cream): *eeeerrrrppp* Where next comrade?
Mahna: I need ice cream now. Bring me back a vanilla-chocolate swirl, Woot.
Taryn: Ooh! I want Cratoon flavored!
Woot- Um...we ate all of it.... *buuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppppppppppp*
As to where to next....lets go set up a booth that sells glass that is really ice. Break all the windows. And make them buy the ice. then when we have their money, run away and laugh! b/c their windows will melt
DW- Good idea, but it needs some tweeking. we set up a stand someplace cold, and sell 'frosted glass sculptures' which is actually chaffed ice, and make them with a mold and a freezer. sell them as full priced pieces of art work ($100s each)
Woot: Okayz!
*Some days later*
Unsuspecting customer: This sculpture of a dragon, could I get it in red? I'll pay extra
DW: If you're willing to wait a few days sir
Unsuspecting customer: Thank you *so* much! (*leaves*)
DW: (*puts red food coloring in the next batch of dragon sculptures.*)
Woot: wow, thiz bisness has been so profitable, $0.30 cents of tap water to a 2 foot high sculpture that sells for $200!
DW: and y'know what's best....... We don't have the pay for the building! the land lord will be gone for 3 weeks, and is leaving before our first billing, we'll be gone by then! Nothing but the down payment... which we paid with an ice sculpture!
Woot+DW(simultaneous): mwahahahah MWahahahahah! (*Customer enters, bell rings, Laughing stops abruptly*) Hello!

(*rises up to the call*)
the gypsy incident in detail:
Woot: And since you're the new guy! you get to clean up after Kevo!
DW: (*wallops Woot over the head with a boffer*) like hell I will. (*florescent light bulb appears over head, places generalized escape equipment into Woot's pockets, drags to Gypsy hideout*)
*A few minutes later *
Gypsy: Hail! Who goes there?
DW: A guy with a girl for sale
Gypsy: oh, come on in then good buddy, can I get you some tea, herbal healings, herbal Viagra?
DW: Just dealing today Pete
Pete: oh fine, how much for her?
DW: $100.
Pete: Phhhwa?! I'll give you $20 and this potion of writers unblocking
DW: Deal.
*Later that day*

A Dark room, woot sitting in a corner.
Woot(just coming to): (*groan*) where am I? (*feels stuff in pockets*) Wow! genralized escape equipment! i mite need this.
Woot uses the generalized escape equipment to escape through a window hidden behind a box that was never previously mentioned.
*Even later that day*
Woot(telling story about gypsy kidnapping, making it up as she goes): n then this big guy with this big thingy tried to hit me n i ducked and kicked him in the ----
DW: What are you talking about? I sold you to the gypsies after slipping escape equipment into your pockets. easy money.
Woot: oh... uhh.... About that story... Yeah...... (*smacks DW*) Where's my cut!?
DW: they didn't like the looks of you. I only got $20 (*slips woot a $10 spot*)
Woot: Hey, that wasn't so bad, other then the bonk on the head (*rubs head*) do this again some time? just without the gypsies. that was dangerous.
DW: Baskin Robins?
Woot: Sure.
And Thus the Conning Duo was formed.
_______________

(Mahna bursts into the Cave of Bad Fiction recreation room where all the cast is playing pool)
Mahna: I can't take it anymore!
Scarlett: Oh, Mahna, I know it's hard, but we need you to be the scapegoat!
Mahna: It's not that. I've decided to come clean about my name! I'm tired of living a lie!
(Everyone gasps)
Beth: Oh now she tells them.
Mahna: (embarrassed) Sorry Beth. (arms open) Mental hug?
Beth: Eep! (runs away)
Mahna: My name is... Claire-Annette! (turns to Woot) Shut up. (takes Woot and runs out of the room.)
Tananda: Wow... Claire-Annette... cool name.
Taryn: Wait a minute.... Claire.... Annette..... ClairAnnette..... Clarinet!
Scarlett: Yeah, that is a cool name.
Taryn: She was lying, Scar.
Scarlett: Oh.
Tananda: I guess now isn't a good name to reveal that my real name is 'Saxie Fone'.
_______________

We see Quinn’s room in the Morgendorffer house. She is tossing and turning in bed and muttering something about horrible Jell-O hair. We see a girl sporting short blond hair with a lone black stripe and a boy with radioactive green hair poking out from under a ski cap tiptoe past the open door of Quinn’s room. Both are wearing dark clothing. They enter Daria’s room next door. The girl starts snapping pictures of the padded walls and furniture and the boy starts picking up different things like books and Daria’s heart model and stuffing them in the burlap sack he’s carrying. Suddenly we hear a voice.)
Voice: I knew you’d be coming back.
(The black clad duo’s eyes widen. Then the scene switches to outside the house where the Bethmobile is waiting. Beth, Tananda, Scarlett, and Mahna are sitting inside waiting for the return of the newbies.)
Beth: Do you think they’re all right?
Scarlett: Who cares, they’re just newbies, they’re expendable. Besides, neither is in my corridor. (She begins muttering to herself) I want the purple corridor! I want the blue corridor! Nobody ever wants the pink corridor. Evil, pink hating, non-pro muffin #!$^$#%^%s. (pouting) They’re just jealous because I have a shiny Miss Oblivious tiara and they don’t.
Mahna: We can’t afford to lose any more newbies, not after what happened to Taeleyn.
Tananda: (saddened) We didn’t even know what happened to her until Kevo burped up that clump of turquoise hair.
(There’s a moment of silence. Then Nuke and Cimorene come running out of the Morgendorffer house chased by a gun wielding Jake who is randomly firing and ranting about squirrels dressed as burglars, who is being chased by a hysteric Helen who is ranting about blood pressure. Nuke and Cimorene run to the Bethmobile, throw open the side door, and hop in slamming the door behind them.)
Nuke: Drive! Drive now! For the love of Galen, drive!
Beth: (shakes her head) Amateurs.
Cimorene: Ow! That last bullet grazed my leg.
Mahna: You poor thing, we should take you to the hospital. (She turns to the rest of the IUF) And you know what that means?
Tananda, Beth, and Scarlett: Free Jell-O!
_______________

Beth- Taryn, you owe everyone a lot of money.
Taryn- He's hungry! So what if he eats a few snacks before dinner? You guys pig out on Jell-o!
Scarlett- Jell-O is meant to be food. Living animals, people, and tables are not.
Tananda- Aw, leave the deranged smiley alone, guys. Here, I'll even help pay for the lost pets and rare stamp collection! I have nothing against the little smiley-
Kevo-~burp-"Moo!"~
Tananda- AH! YOU SICK TWISTED-
Beth- It's all Mahna’s fault!
Scarlett- She has a point...
Taryn- Tananda, what are you doing with that bat? Ah! Get away from my smiley!
Tananda- Get over here you bovine abuser....
~scream is heard in the halls~
~Huggy dashes past cave door, chased by mutated dust bunnies with a rattish thing on his shoulder~
Mahna- Only in the Cave of Bad Fiction....
_______________

Huggy limps into his room, with what appears to be a large rat still latched onto his arm. Scarlett is standing in the middle of the room looking a little impatient.
Scarlett: Where have you been?
Huggy: I got lost. Then I ran into Plague here. Isn't he cool?
Scarlett: The rat gnawing through your forearm? Yeah, he is kinda cool actually. But, don't you think you should try to get him to let go?
Huggy: He'll let go when he gets tired.
Scarlett: Okay, just try not to faint from blood loss.
Scarlett walks out looking a little confused.
_______________

We see an entrance to a mall from the inside. A girl with pink hair opens the door cautiously, looks around, and walks out. Several minutes later the door opens again, revealing a bunch of neon-haired people, some going wild and chattering, some looking like they'd enjoy whacking those others with various nonviolent objects.
"Wow. The newbies are just going nuts." Mahna shakes her head.
"They make us look normal!" Scarlett says, wide eyed.
Veldrin tries to climb up the walls. "Hey Beth! What if Jacob were Spiderman? Will you write that story?"
"Forty-two! Forty-two!" Cimorene shouts.
Roger rushes past the group holding three pierced penguins on leashes. "A little help, maybe?" He asks as the penguins drag him down to his knees and waddle faster than any waddling thing should.
"Now everyone!" Beth yells to the group, "You are responsible for anything you break. You are responsible for your item on the 'Daria Shrine Tribute' list. You are responsible for gifts to the IUF. You are responsible for gifts to your corridormates. We have today to finish this shopping people; tomorrow we decorate the Cave."
Tan laughs and whispers to Scarlett and Taryn. "Beth has to buy a million presents. Ha ha ha ha ha."
"So there is a good side to having an unliked color. Hmmm."
"So we're all set? Okay, we meet back here in fourteen hours. Stay with your group. Stay hydrated. And please don't get thrown out." Beth pauses. "Nope. That's all. Wait. Brandon, get the candy away from Kevo."
Brandon looks up from over Taryn's shoulder and hides the 3 Musketeers he was trying to poke through the holes.
"KKKKEEEEEEEEEVVVVOOOOOOOO!" screams the carrier on Taryn's back, and Kevo breaks free.
_______________
Tan, Beth, Scarl, and Taryn are walking down the corridor, having returned from the newbie shopping expedition.
Beth- Wow that was more exhausting than I thought it would be.
Scarl- Yeah if someone hadn't let Kevo escape...
Taryn- It wasn't my fault! Brandon was giving him sugar!
They all look into Kevo's carrier where he's sound asleep after rampaging through the mall and eating practically everything in sight.
Tan- Well, at least he'll sleep for a while.
Scarl- Mmmm, sleep sounds good.
Beth- Wait, do you guys smell something?
Scarl- It almost smells like...
All- MUFFINS!!!!!
They find the energy to run down the corridor to the kitchen. Walking in, they see Kevo's large turquoise food bowl by the fridge first. It's about the size of an inflatable kiddie pool.
Taryn- Well, I won't have to feed him for a while, I think.
Voice from their right- Oh, no! Really?
They turn and see Angel taking fresh muffins out of the oven. The table is already covered with huge plates of blueberry, cinnamon apple, chocolate chip, and raisin bran muffins.
Beth- Look at all those muffins.
Angel- Well Kevo seemed so hungry I thought I’d make him some muffins. But if he's asleep...
She looks sadly at all the muffins. The IUF look at her.
Scarl- This is not a problem.
Angel brightens.
Angel- You guys want some?
They dive in.
Angel- I'll take that as a yes. Awww...Kevo's kinda cute when he's asleep. In a psycho-smiley-who-eats-fiberboard kinda way.
_______________

( The cave of bad fiction dining room. The whole Tanandaria cast is sitting around a huge table. Scarlett walks out of the kitchen carrying a large pot.)
Scarlett: Since neither Woot nor Darkwing, our two official cooks, are here, they said something about selling ice to some Eskimos, it has fallen to me to prepare dinner so I present to you, Pink Green Purple Blue Stew.
(Scarlett bows and sets the pot on the table, she then ladles out large helping into everyone’s bowl.)
Scarlett: Chad, you can be the first to taste it.
Chad: (looks dubiously at his bowl) Um...thanks. (he takes a small bite and his face turns magenta, he starts choking) What’s in this stuff?
Scarlett: I don’t know exactly what all the stuff is. I just threw together some stuff I thought had funny, IUF, Tanandaria worthy names: Wasabi, Tabasko, Jalapenos, Habanera Peppers… What? Why is everybody looking at me funny? Is my Miss Oblivious sash on backwards again?
Chad: Tan's gonna miss the guacamole... *glork*
Scarlett: I knew I should have given him a muffin... ::takes out four-color muffins::
While Scarlett goes to the fridge to get everyone drinks (what a sweetie!)Everyone else casually picks up their bowls and unobtrusively places them on the floor. Taryn leans over slightly and calls out softly.
Taryn- Here, Kevo...come here boy...
Kevo bounces in and quickly devours the stew, bowls and all then bounces onto the table and eats the pot. He bounces back out, now a slightly pinkish color.
Scarlett- So we have water, soda, milk, OJ...who wants what? Hey, where'd all the stew go?
Mahna- It was just so good we ate it all.
Scarlett- Where're the bowls? And the cooking pot?
Angel- Ummm...Kevo came in and we thought we'd let him lick the bowls but he kinda ate them. (whispers to Chad) Well, it's not really a lie...
Taryn- Oooh, I don't envy the newbies who have to clean up after him tonight.
DW, Veldrin and Cimorene cringe.
Scarlett- Now who wants dessert?

~Tananda comes back with a BIG bowl full of Jell-O~
Tananda- ok, it's divided into four sections for each corridor. Green, blue purple and....
~everyone snatches Jell-O and eats it except Taryn and Kristin.~
Tananda- um...pink?
Kristen- You missed the guacamole.
Scarlett- Ah! No one ate the pink Jell-O! Are you all Anti-pink?
_______________

As the scene opens, we see Taryn and Kevo sitting on a couch. Taryn has a big smile on her face as she feeds Kevo nachos from a bag. They are both perfectly contented. Big Trouble In Little China is on the TV....)
Kurt Russell's Voice (OS, From TV): Now don't make me kill you, tough guy...
(Taryn snickers and pops nachos in her own mouth. A door slams off screen, and Taryn looks up halfheartedly. Her smile immediately fades as Mahna Mahna, Beth Ann, Scarlett and Nomad X come into the room.)
Taryn (Wary): Um, hey guys...what's up?
Scarlett: What's up? What's up? WHAT'S UP?! (Calms herself) Who wants to tell our friend Taryn what's up?
(Beth Ann and Mahna Mahna look at each other uneasily. Nomad X, on the other hand, appears to be holding back laughter. Nomad X raises his hand, a cheeky grin on his face. Scarlett glares at him. He lowers his hand, still snickering softly.)
Scarlett (To Taryn): Your little monster has been at it again.
Taryn (Defensive): What has Kevo done *THIS* time, Scarlett?
(At the sound of his name, Kevo blinks and looks up at Scarlett with "Soul Of Innocence" eyes.)
Mahna Mahna (Timid): Um, Taryn, Kevo um...well that is he um...got a little frisky.
(Suddenly Taryn's eyes go wide.)
Taryn: OH MY GOD! He didn't...eat...Tananda, did he?
(At this, Nomad X throws back his head and howls with laughter. Beth Ann punches him on the arm, but it has no effect. He laughs long and hard. Tears pour out of his eyes...)
Beth Ann: Um, no....not exactly.
Taryn: Then why isn't she here?
Scarlett: She's in shock. Her mother took her to see her doctor.
Taryn (Wide eyed): What the Hell happened?!
Beth Ann: Um, nothing... physically. It's um, what she saw....
(Nomad X wipes his eyes with his sleeve and speaks shakily.)
Nomad X: Um, Taryn...ha...ha...um, you know your neighbors? The Johnsons?
(Taryn nods)
Nomad X: You, um, remember their prize-winning, pureblooded Cairn terrier, Rudy?
Taryn: Yeah of course! He's such a playful, adorable little dog! I could just eat him up!
(Stone silence. Realization dawns in Taryn's eyes...Everyone turns and looks at Kevo. Suddenly, from deep within Kevo, the faint sound of barking can be heard.)
Taryn (Slaps her forehead): Dammit, Kevo, not again. Did you learn nothing from the Jameson's Pekingese?
Mahna Mahna (Resigned): I'll call the vet.
Beth Ann: Poor little dog.
Scarlett: This could only happen to you Taryn.
(The scene fades to black as Nomad X laughs loudly.)
_______________

(A hall in the cave of bad fiction blue corridor. Kristin is holding out a minion to Beth.)
Kristin: Now I’ll let you have one if you promise to take good care of it.
Beth: Of course I’ll take good care of it. When have I ever not taken care of something I was given?
(A small, bedraggled, starved looking, dirty penguin waddles out into the hall. It is Tux Beth’s birthday present penguin he is carrying a broken training pitchfork in one flipper. Beth looks at him uneasily.)
Beth: Bad Tux, breaking my stuff and pretending that you’ve been lying forgotten in my closet for two months…which you haven’t. Heh heh hee.
(Kristin looks sternly at Beth and jerks the minion to her chest.)
Kristin: I’m not sure you are responsible enough to have a minion remember what happened when I gave Tananda a minion?
(Beth and Kristin hang their heads in remembrance of dear departed Skeeve the minion.)
Beth: Come on. I promise I’ll take just as good care of it as I did too my old goldfish.
(There’s a flashback to a six-year-old Beth and her parents flushing a dead goldfish down the toilet. Back to present.)
Beth: I mean…just give it to me all right?
Kristin; O.k., but be careful, they’re not that durable.(she hands Beth the minion.)
Beth: Thanks! (she cradles the minion in her arms) I’ll call you Skeeve 82 _ and you’ll be my best friend.
(Beth runs down the hall and turns the corner still clutching her minion. Kristin smiles then a shout break out.)
Beth (off screen): Kevo, no! Skeeeeeeve 82 _ ! Whyyyyyy! You were so young!
(Kristin rolls her eyes)
_______________

I ask you to join me in the anti-color pink crusade and rescue Scarlett from its manipulating brainwashing ways!
I need your help to turn the pink corridor into the crimson corridor and save many from durance vile!
Join Qwerty's anti-colour pink crusade!

DW: (*proceeds to boffer Qwerty into unconsciousness*)
Damn fanatics.

Mahna: (sprays water at the unconscious qwerty) Bad supporting cast member! Bad! No treat!

Tananda: Dare you go against an IUF member! Dare! Now, Mr. Magic, go clean up that Kevo stank over in Corridor Pink. Now!

Beth: Join Beth's Anti-Qwerty crusade!
You're going down magic boy.

Qwerty: Alright, alright, alright I'll change my mind about the crusade.
But not my opinions on the colour pink.
Can't we negotiate a peace settlement Beth Ann?.
I'm still not cleaning up after Kevo

Beth: Sure my only demands are:
(1) You rebuild the areas that were destroyed during the now infamous war between you and Scarlett on the sheep's fluff. And the areas Nomad destroyed trying find his room.
(2) A truck full of blueberry muffins
(3) A peace treaty between you and Scarlett
(4) A flying ostrich to replace my minion.
I can't think of anything else.

Qwerty: Well......this is going to take some fancy finger casting.
(ZAP)
Areas repaired with a new coat of paint free of charge.
(ZAP)
One truckload of blueberry muffins for Beth Ann to distribute.
(ZAP)
I Qwerty agree to call off the war with Scarlett as long as we agree to disagree over the colour pink.
QWERTY
(Scarlett's name to go here.)
(ZAP)
One flying ostrich (Including go faster stripes)

Beth: Yay! Muffins for everyone! ~climbs on top of the truck and begins to throw muffins to everyone managing to hit several people in the head~
Thank you Qwerty. ~rides off into the sunset on top her flying ostrich~
_______________

There's a knock on one of the doors in Blue corridor.
Voice behind door- Go away!
Greystar- Come out Angel! We miss you!
Angel- No. I'm sick of everyone staring at me.
Greystar- Pleeeeeease. Come on, I haven't even been here since it happened. I won't stare.
The door opens, and Greystar stares at Angel.
Greystar (staring)- Holy crap! It looks like someone hit you with a two by four!
Angel (surprised)- Wow, that's amazing because that's exactly what happened.
Greystar- Really?
Angel (glares)- No.
Greystar (stares again)- What happened?
Angel (straight face)- I got in a bar fight. It was a beer bottle.
Greystar- Really?
Angel- No.
Greystar (still staring)- Come on, tell me what happened.
Angel (grabs pitchfork by door)- Oh all right, fine. What happened was, I kept asking people questions when I could have easily gone and checked SFMB and found out. They got really annoyed and whacked me in the head with a pitchfork.
Greystar- Really?
Angel (holds pitchfork like a bat)- No.
Greystar- Wait...don't do that! <scene deleted> Ow, my head hurts
_______________

Huggy (mumbling to self): Tunnel A, section B, Corridor pink, area 31, room 12.
Huggy looks around and notices he's in a corridor with purple walls.
Huggy: Yeah, I know where I'm going. Don't need a map. Not me.
Walks for another few minutes and ends up in a room with a very dusty looking Galen shrine in it.
As he turns to leave something behind the shrine starts making a strange noise. He just manages to see something small and fury crouched in the shadows when it leaps out and bites down on his arm. As he runs around the room screaming in panic, he begins to think that he might just be lost.
_______________

The newbie training facility classroom in the cave of bad fiction. Beth is at the front of the room.)
Beth: My job is to brief you on the great and wondrous history of Tanandaria. Is there any special subject that you would like to hear about?
(Veldrin raises his hand but Suitcase Nuke interrupts him.)
Nuke: I would like to hear more about this girl-girl ice cream wrestling match that everyone keeps talking about.
Beth: (pointedly ignores him) Veldrin?
Veldrin: Never mind, I want to hear about the ice cream wrestling thing.
Beth: (despairingly) Cimorene what do you want to hear about?
(Cimorene has been sleeping through the entire conversation. She wakes up only to shout 42 at the top of her lungs then fall back asleep.)
Nuke: We’re waiting.
Beth: It’s a long story starting with the use of bad grammar by me. Back then the cast of Tanandaria consisted of just the IUF then Taryn joined and I welcomed her by saying…
Nuke: I think it would help us to understand the story if you were to recreate the aforementioned wrestling match with Angelinhel.
Beth: I’m warning you…
Nuke: I believe there were yellow bikinis involved and Crown Royal.
Veldrin: Don’t forget the gambling! And the part where Tananda flirts with Brandon and gets called jailbait!
(Beth shoots them both a Look.)
Veldrin: (meekly) well someone told me there was a game of poker involved.
Nuke: (interested) Was it strip poker?
Beth: That’s it! I warned you! I warned both of you!
(The camera cuts to outside the hall and we hear screams coming from inside the classroom. Then the screams stop and Beth walks out of the classroom whistling. She runs into Tananda.)
Tananda: You done with your class already?
Beth: You could say that.
Tananda: I guess I’ll do my lecture on the proper methods of stalking now.
(Tananda enters the classroom, the camera stays out in the hall.)
Tananda: (off screen) Oh my Galen! What went on in here?
(Close up of Beth’s face, she smiles.)
_______________

A blank stage appears, We see Tananda walk onstage.
Tananda: Welcome, to the latest episode of Tanandaria. Throughout These few months, there have been many memorable moments we've enjoyed. Lets Take a look,
(a screen appears behind Tananda, we zoom in until it's the only thing we see, Tananda and Taeleyn appear)
taeleyn:
I know I am just a newbie here, so I hope you won't mind me putting my two cents in here
Tananda: ~gasps~ A newbie? Yesh! Another mind to corrupt! Quick, people, the hair dye! What color, ma'am? Highlight yellow or Turquoise?
Taeleyn: Ooooohh, turquoise please! I wouldn't want to stand out too much by being (yawn) NORMAL!
Tananda: ~grins~ Join me over in Tanandaria and we'll get that hair done in no time!
(The screen goes black and we zoom back out to see Tananda, Scarlett, Beth Ann, and Mahna)
Tananda: What happened next, you might ask. Well, after that, the thread...
Mahna, Scarlett, And Beth: DIED!
Tananda (looks back at them): Thanks, well yes, it did. And we never heard from Taeleyn. This brings up a very important question in The world of Tanandaria. Whatever happened To the Stars?
(The screen goes black and a fancy version of the Tanandaria opening sequence appears, the title saying: "The IUF in: Whatever happened to the Stars?")
(The screen remains black until a photo of Taeleyn appears on the screen, then a picture of THM appears next to it, Pictures of Roger, Historian, Mike Quinn, Ned, Austin, and other characters that look vaguely familiar appear.)
Tananda V/O: They were all newbies.
Scarlett V/O: They all seemed willing and eager.
Mahna V/O: Well, at least they seemed eager to us. (The sound of a slap is heard) OW!
Beth V/O: Mahna! Stick with the script! *We* have to seem like the Good Guys!
Mahna V/O: Sorry, I just don't like the idea of lying. Besides, why can't we just air a normal episode?
Tananda V/O: Because, The writers are running out of ideas. (A slap is heard again)
Scarlett V/O: Tananda! You can't tell them that!
Mahna V/O: Scarlett, you hit *me*.
Scarlett V/O: *sigh* Duh! You're the *scapegoat*!
Mahna V/O: But that doesn't...
Beth V/O: See? *This* is why they all ran away. (We hear footsteps walking off)
Tananda V/O: Now see what you did? Jeez! (footsteps walk off again)
Scarlett V/O: Yeah, Mahna! This is all your fault. Mahna V/O: *sigh*