TANANDARIA SEASON TWO
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“To Tanandaria, may it go on forever!” the cast proclaimed clicking their glasses together. They were celebrating and for good cause, they had barely escaped being canceled by the powers that be at the network.
“O.k., back to work now,” Brandon chided, “We’re all glad that the show is back on the air, this was supposed to be a meeting to discuss the future of Tanandaria.”
“I know, it’s been getting kind of cluttered lately. I can barely tell the difference between the show and our real lives anymore.” Scarlett complained, “We need to have clear boundaries.”
“We need to have more episodes featuring the band,” Mahna interjected.
“I thought the band was BTS,” Scarlett said confusedly.
“I think we need to get back to our roots, Daria stalking. We should go back to Daria stalking.” Tananda added.
Beth, who had stayed out of conversations pertaining to the show’s future until now, spoke up, “I hired a new cast member.”
Everyone stopped talking and looked at her. Brandon was the first to answer her.
“Who?”
“Kristin,”
“Bealer?”
“No, Kristin with an I, our resident guardian Angelinhel,” Beth answered.
“That girl who went to the Bahamas with us?” Mahna asked.
“The very same.”
“Are you sure that she wants to join the cast, or is this going to end up with us all venturing into Hades to capture a herd of minions and trying to lure her out into the open with praises for An Angel Named Mary Sue? I mean I’m fine with it either way, but it would be nice to know,” Tananda asked.
Beth shrugged, “Hey, she asked why she wasn’t in the show more, I mean go figure that one. She can be our voice of reason, our grammar corrector, plus she can keep Greystar and Brandon in line.”
The other three girls looked at her with raised eyebrows.
“O.K. she pits them against one another, but you have to admit, it’s very entertaining.” Beth smirked as she gestured over to the other side of the studio where Greystar was beating Brandon with a loaf of sourdough bread while Angel looked on with a barely concealed smile.
“You have a point there,” Scarlett said.
Tananda smiled, “O.K. she’s in. Get her into to wardrobe and for heavens sake something heeds to be done with that hair.”
Beth gulped, “You want me to die her hair? She turned me into a pile of flaming death for using they’re when I should have used their, can you imagine what she’ll do to me if I touch her hair?”
Tananda pondered this for a second, a thoughtful look on her face, “Oh well, better you than me. Good luck!”
“Wait, I just remembered we have the newbie now, let’s make the newbie do it.”
A slow smile spread across Tananda’s face. “Good idea,” She said then she clasped her hands around her mouth and called, “ Oh, Taeleyn, we have a job for you…”
_______________

Hospital: Greystar and Brandon are in beds, everyone else is standing around, talking, dancing, whatever
Angelinhel ::Quinnishly:: : It's too bad you two are here because of fighting over me. You didn't need to do that!
Beth (under her breath to Scarlett): That's it. We're going to need to kill her.
Scarlett: I *know*. She's taking the Quinn similarity too far.
Mahna: I wonder which would make her madder, calling her Quinn or calling her Alyson.
Scarlett: Let's find out. (regular volume) Hey Taelyen! C'mere!
=Brandon and Greystar=
Brandon: I just want to know, why sourdough? White bread would have been fine.
Greystar: Because I wanted to *win*. Which I did.
Brandon: No you didn't. Even though I don't remember it, I'm sure I left you for dead.
Tananda (interrupting): Who won the ice cream fight?
Beth and Angelinhel: I did! (glare at each other)
Beth: You can't take a prize from someone younger than you. It's just cruel. (starts to "cry")
Angel: Stop it before I beat you with my pitchfork. (Beth glares)
Mahna: Enough of that. If I could have everyone's attention, the Mystik Cyniks are going to do our rendition of "Cry Me a River"
Every single person in the room: Boooo!
Mahna: And people doubt that ghosts exist!
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(We see the Morgendorffer living room. Daria, dressed in her normal outfit, walks out the door. We see a close up of her face as her eyes go wide. The camera pans to show several tents set up on the front lawn. There are the remains of a bonfire and some soda cans and candy wrappers on the lawn. The Tankette, the Bethmobile, and various other vehicles are parked in the driveway. A large group of girls with brightly colored hair, a sleazy man in a brightly colored coat, a blond woman, Skeeve, a fan, and a bouncing yellow ball that keeps shouting Keeeeeeeeevvvoooooo are standing on the lawn, apparently they’ve been waiting for Daria.)
Group of Weirdoes: Hi Daria!
Daria: Oh my gosh, they’ve multiplied.
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Exclusive Interview with Daria

Daria: Yeah, most people don't realize that they started out as background characters on my show. The thing was, though, they hadn't been around too many celebrities before, so things could get a little awkward.

*****
Cut to deleted scene of Daria in class

(Daria accidentally drops a piece of crumpled paper. A girl with green hair grabs it)
Tananda: I got it!
M, S, & B: Woo!
Scarlett: Another one for the collection!
Director: Cut! Girls! Would you stop doing that while the camera is rolling?
Mahna: Well, if you would just let us go through her trash after she leaves like we *asked*, we wouldn't have to.

*****
Daria: So we spun them off onto their own show. Basically, that was the only way to get them to leave.

*****
(cut to interview with T, S, M, & B)
Beth: Personally, I think they were too hard on us.
Mahna: Yeah, it's perfectly understandable that we acted like that. I mean, it was Daria, you know?
Tananda: At least we got a show out of it.
Scarlett: Can't argue with that. (takes a sip of cocoa out of the mug she's holding and sets in on a table)
(A girl with a "Tanandaria Rules!" T-shirt runs across the screen, grabs the mug, squeals "Eeeee!" then runs off.)
Tananda: (calling after the girl) Oh you're just doing that because you want your own show!
Scarlett: Can I get a new cocoa? Please?
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Screaming grass
makes me fall on my ass
I don't want to hurt it
So don't you dare burn it...
_______________

Late Night Infomercial
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So don't miss out; order *you* TANANDARIA today and relive the adventures of those unserious children for the rest of your life!
_______________

"So we've gone public." Mahna mused, slightly scowling.
"Erm...yes?"
"I believe I told you to consult me before you did anything like this." Brandon said.
"Yeah, but-"
"Not that I care in the slightest. Anything to get the Mystik Cyniks out in the open."
"Trying to impress Madam Hoo-"
"Look at the time! See you girls later!" ::rushes out with a "that was close" face::
"I wonder if Daria will see it!" Tananda said excitedly "The episode transcripts will probably go into her 'Hall of Fame' thing!"
"Uhh, sure Tananda. Here, take a blue." Beth said, passing a pillbox.
_______________

Tananda- Hey Daria! You know what? I was thinking today-
Daria- You think?
Tananda- and I realized that you're a member of Tanandaria-
Daria- It was made because of me. Of course I'm in it.
Tananda- and your hair is still normal!
Daria- SECURITY!
Beth Ann- Not so fast, Daria. Jane joined us. Look how happy she is!
~We see Jane with hair like in her picture from 'Dye! Dye! My Darling'~
Jane- This is fun, Daria. C'mon, get your hair done!
Daria- Ah! Jane! What have they done to you?
Jane- Exactly what you couldn't do. C'mon Daria we're all waiting...
~All Tanandaria cast and penguins start surrounding Daria~
Cast- Join us....Join us....Join us....
~Daria wake up in her bed~
Daria- NOOOOOOOOOO! It...it was a dream! It was all a dream! Thank Go...AH!
~pan out to see Tananda and Scarlett kneeling at the end of her bed with a camcorder, taping Daria's every move.~
Tananda- I think she sees us.
Scarlett- Pipe down and take a blue pill.
_______________

Gasher ungashed
Hasher rehashed
I should step on your cash
You're dewashed
_______________

Sexy Man, Sexy Man
You came into my life like a van
What can I say to you that you haven't said?
What can I say to you that hasn't been killed by sleaziness and grammar?
What can I say to you that isn't totally dull or just like what you said about yourself or obsessive or not ego-inflasive or so trite?
Does anybody know.
Does anybody know what we mean?
Does anybody know.
Does anybody know what we mean?
_______________

"So," Scarlett said, looking across the table at qwerty, "What makes you deserving of being on Tanandaria?"
"Umm..."
"Oh stop it, Scarlett! Qwerty's breathing, right?" said Tananda.
Meanwhile, Beth scrutinized his hair from her side of the table.
"I'm thinking navy. No wait, indigo. Yes. Indigo."
"Well..."
"You didn't think that you'd remain *bland* while on the show, did you?" Mahna smirked. "We do have standards."
"And therefore we accept your bribe of chocolate stalker snacks. Welcome to the cast!" Scarlett shook his hand.
"Here are your six assorted shirts. Beth, take him to the dye chair."
They leave, shutting the lights off.
"Hello? Anyone here? I'm here for my official interview."
Silence answers Angelinhel.
"Not *again*! It's almost like they're avoiding me. I want my funky colored hair!!"
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Tanandaria Interview - The extras
Interviewer: So, you say that you were comic relief for the girls and that you really had no purpose?
Kevo: ...
Interviewer: I know you may be mad, but it's no reason to use that sort of language.
Kevo....
Interviewer: Yo Momma! Come on pip-squeak! Bring it on!
Rich: Whoa! Calm down. It's just a freaking smiley.
Interviewer: Yes, right. Now Mister....
Rich: Just call me Paperpusher.
Interviewer: Ah yes. Now you say that the girls are not all that they seem to be. Is that right Mr. Paperpusher?
Rich: Yes. There were countless nights were they'd stay up on the board drinking Crown Royal, Taking all sorts of pills, And soo many card games.
Interviewer: They lived life in the fast lane?
Rich: Yes, I can't tell you how many posts about blue pills I had to delete.
It messes with your head after a while.
Interviewer: You Heard it here live folks! The cast of Tanandaria Party and dabble in mind control! We'll have the full story here at six!
_______________

(all sitting around backstage talking)
Tananda: I say we all send really disturbing letters asking for Daria back. If we don't get it, at least we scared the crap out of a popular TV channel.
Mahna Mahna: I don't think writing letters would be totally out of the question. I mean, didn't one of the things that Daria "wrote" say 'If totally requested, I will serve.' Are they trying to tell us something?
Scarlett: You see, they're trying to make us *think* that they're telling us something, only to deny us of what they made us think and laugh! Hahaha! Laugh on, MTV people!
Mahna Mahna: No, we can fight this! (stands up) Come with me, fellow Daria-lovers! We shall storm the MTV offices and demand that she be released from the shackles of rerundom!
(starts singing)
Do you hear the people sing?
Singing the song of angry men?
It is the music of a people who want to watch Daria again....
Beth: Oh no. She's singing songs from musicals again.
Scarlett: Should I get the straight jacket?
Tananda: No, just get her some Coca-Cola and chocolate. I hear that that's bad for singing.
Beth: That won't make her stop; it'll just make her voice sound bad.
Tananda: Oh. Well, let's ride it out and hope she ends up singing something from Grease.
_______________

I took the key
opened the trap door
to go and see what this madness hath wrought
very near here, people were attempting escape, but we have music to make
Any sleaze will do

He wore a coat with a golden lining
standing on the side, smirking and waiting
and on the stage our band was playing and the crowd was saying
Any sleaze will do!

A crash of drums
a chord of a guitar
his goldenish gold coat flew away
I saw him wave it away into darkness
he was left in the wings alone
may I return to our hostages
the smirk is growing, and the insanity is too
the band and I
we are still watching, still laughing
Any sleaze will do
Any sleaze will do


Close Every Trapdoor
Close every trapdoor to them
Hide the real world from them
Give them no windows
they have the artificial sun's light
Keep them where you want them
Stalk them and kidnap them
Skip along the streets
and knock on "their" doors
If their lives weren't fan-worthy you
wouldn't have an underground town
And they don't know the way
To escape this Pleasantville

Close every trapdoor to me
Keep the real world from me
Hostages of Lawndale are never alone
For I know I shall escape
This hellish sick obsession
for I believe that
The captors are spacey.

Close every trapdoor to them
Hide the real world from them
Give them no windows
they have the artificial sun's light

Just give us freedom
Instead of comfort
Let us all be
And you we never will see.
We do not matter
We're only cartoons
Trap us entirely
Then harass us 'til doomsday
If our show were important We
would ask why we're here
But we don't know how
To escape this Pleasantville
Close every trapdoor to me
Keep the real world from me
Hostages of Lawndale are never alone
For I know I shall escape
This hellish sick obsession
for I believe that
The captors are spacey.
_______________

Taryn, Beth Ann, Mahna, and Scarlett are watching Tananda go crazy and run around the PPMB.
Taryn: Soo... Should we stop her?
Scarlett: It's best not to. She'll probably just jab you.
Mahna: You know, I think I’ll sing a song about this.
Beth: Please. Please don't.
~Mahna starts humming a tune~
Scarlett: Taryn, I think you know what to do.
~Taryn sics Kevo on Mahna, They all turn their attention to the attack~
Taryn: Wow. Look, Mahna was really a robot.
Scarlett: Who'dve thunk it.
Beth Ann: So...
Taryn: yeah...
Scarlett: Guess we just wait for that ostrich attack now.
Taryn: I'm boored.
_______________

EH!
I like the word eh
Cause it rhymes with pay!
And sometime peh!
What a day!
I just may
Yell out Mayday!
Cause I'm going down, eh.
What's the right way?
I need to hit the hay.
EH!